Lifeguards at Bondi Beach have had a new protection against shark attacks. they have been issued with “England for the World Cup” T shirts. Not even the sharks will swallow that.

The England team’s training session was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours at Twickenham.

One of the players, while on his way back to the dressing room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance at the end of the field. They immediately suspended practice while the Police were called in to investigate.

After a complete field analysis, the Police determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the try line.

Practice was resumed when the officials decided that it was unlikely that the team would encounter the substance again.

Q: What do you call an Englishman holding a bottle of champagne after a Six Nations game?

A: Waiter.

Let’s have some more jokes … better than Williams’ woeful effort.

If you want to be a patriotic Welshman, vote Yes in the referendum. Wearing a rugby jersey with some German Prince’s feathers on it doesn’t quite cut it.

(I’m from the Valleys, but we don’t all live for Rugby, despite what the telly and Max Boyce says)

Doctor: “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”

..apologies to one and all.